A Horse Walks into a Bar...

Posted by Josh

https://joshreads.com/2025/12/not-so-funny-animals/

https://joshreads.com/?p=47890

Dick Tracy, 12/14/25

For a month now, we’ve all been like, “Who or what is the Ghost Cat? We’ve been told he’ll appear when needed — obviously that will be some time during this storyline but when?” Well, today we’ve got answers. What is the Ghost Cat? He’s Batman, or at least as close to Batman as you can get without infringing on the intellectual property rights of DC Comics, Warner Bros. Discovery, and Netflix/Paramount Skydance [TBD by 2027]. He’s close enough to the real deal to strike fear into the hearts of criminals, anyway, so much fear that they self-censor when saying even mild swear words. Who is the Ghost Cat? Well, it seems pretty clear that he’s just Buford, the lawman who showed up in Neo-Chicago with this case yammering about the Ghost Cat in the first place, in an elaborate costume.

Honestly the part I’m most unsure about is the “when” component. Sure, sometimes the conventional law enforcement apparatus can’t deal with a specific injustice and only a costumed vigilante can restore righteous order, that’s something we understand and believe, but Dick and Buford were in hot pursuit of some suspects after an informant planted a tracker on their vehicle, and then said suspects ran out to confront them while they were just parked legally at the curb, a scenario where I’m pretty sure the police-friendly Neo-Chicago courts would give retroactive license for them to go nuts, so I’m not sure why he felt like he had to go “Ghost Cat” mode. Who am I to judge, though? If he needs a fursuit to fight crime properly, that’s his business.

Mary Worth, 12/14/25

A lot of Sunday strips just pad out what could’ve been a two- or three-panel gag and don’t take full advantage of their length. Not today’s Mary Worth, though! Today’s strip takes us on an emotional roller coaster, from the highs of “Ha ha, Sunny shat in Ian’s shoe!” to the lows of “Oh, man, the reason Toby and Ian never had kids is because Toby knows, in her heart of hearts, that Ian would beat them.”

Marvin, 12/14/25

Speaking of shitting, Marvin is, of course, primarily about shitting and pissing. But it’s also about a set of characters who actively dislike each other, and that’s why I refuse to believe that Bitsy thinks of Jeff as “dad.” He almost certainly just refers to him by name, or, if he refuses to learn his name on principle, as “that asshole.”

https://joshreads.com/2025/12/not-so-funny-animals/

https://joshreads.com/?p=47890

Posted by Josh

https://joshreads.com/2025/12/metapost-12-12-twomments-of-the-tweek/

https://joshreads.com/?p=47881

Your top comment is here, and it’s spectacular!

“You have to wonder about the parents who remain in line with their children. They can see, right? They know what awaits them at the front of the line, correct? ‘Just twenty more minutes, Tyler, and you can be the one awkwardly perched on the lab of the unsettling pizza box automaton.’” –Joe Blevins

Your hilarious runners up are also a delight!

“Henry wears a lot of layers for just reading the paper at home. Maybe he’s one of those low-thermostat guys (laudable).” –Joe Friday I’m In Love, on Bluesky

“Writers advise avoiding ‘shoe leather,’ the depiction of how characters get from one scene to the next. Just go straight from one interesting part to the other, they advise. These writers never had to fit a two-panel joke into a Sunday strip.” –matt w

“One of my peeves is comics that mix speech balloons for adult humans with thought balloons for animals and babies yet both supposedly work as communication with others so I guess we’re to assume that horrifying telepathy exists in these worlds and nobody says anything about it. However, if a thought balloon was just a thought balloon, it makes this comic actually amusing if it’s just a bartender staring at the dog sitting at his bar with a big stupid grin on its face, unaware that its joke wouldn’t make sense even if anyone could hear it.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“Look at that smile and sudden healthy glow in the third panel, we’re about to launch into Gil Thorp’s Day Off.” –Charles Louis Richter, on Bluesky

“That’s some look on Hi’s face in the last panel. He knows he’ll surely die if he sticks around to watch this racy(?) action-packed(?) film, but he’s going to anyways. It’s like if they made The Ring for middle-aged dads.” –pugfuggly

“Thor lives in the emptiest cave ever half-imagined into existence. Get some rock-based furniture, a fire pit, some skins, guano, anything to liven the place up!” –Victor Von

“I don’t blame Ian for being upset. After all, Othello’s autograph is pretty rare.” –seismic-2

“You have to respect Sunny’s ability to distinguish Ian’s possessions from Toby’s. Though maybe Toby put all her stuff safely away a couple days ago, when she realized parrots have no bowel control.” –Ken

“‘Sir Richard Wellbottom’ sounds like an adult film star who specializes in Shakespeare parodies: Much Ado About Pegging, King Leer, Romeo and Juliet and Rosaline…” –TheDiva

“If there’s one thing Herb loves, it’s staring off into the middle distance while making smug faces for no reason as a mysterious omnipotent narrator rambles incoherently.” –ectojazzmage

“Some might point out that Ian’s accusation doesn’t really imply the bird can read at all, as there’s a number of simpler ways a parrot could notice an association between the Playbill and Ian. However, that actually makes Toby’s accusation itself logically consistent, as she herself can’t read and assumes that Ian’s daily wistful stroking of the cover is what constitutes the act.” –NotImportant

“Of course birds can’t read! But Othello is a play, they just need to listen and watch it! Think, Toby, think!” –Ettorre

“Due to the scrawly font I misread ‘platforms’ as ‘flatworms’ and, honestly, I think it was an improvement. Alice would at least have an opinion on those.” –Hergen

“And so the fumbling attempt to unionize Dithers & Co comes to an abrupt end. The workers shouldn’t have picked a foreman who’d sell them out not even for spare ribs, but for the idea of spare ribs.” –Schroduck

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! You can get each day’s post ad-free via Patreon if that’s your style! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

https://joshreads.com/2025/12/metapost-12-12-twomments-of-the-tweek/

https://joshreads.com/?p=47881

Posted by Josh

https://joshreads.com/2025/12/that-bird-is-pure-evil-and-i-love-it/

https://joshreads.com/?p=47872

Mary Worth, 12/11/25

Sorry to be a killjoy, but I’m deeply concerned that Ian appears to own the exact same robe that Wilbur does. Yes, they’re different colors, but we all know the coloring in the daily strips is done by the syndicate and isn’t canon. At first I thought that this was simply clip art of Ian’s head put onto an existing drawing of Wilbur’s body, but I’m reasonably sure we never had the opportunity to look at a berobèd Wilbur from this angle, given that the pet he had a weird emotional relationship with floated around at eye level most of the time. Anyway, this just raises a lot of questions, like is there a standard-issue Charterstone robe that all male inhabitants are assigned upon arrival? Troubling. Still, I don’t mean to take away from the main event, which is that Toby is shrieking “Don’t be ridiculous! Birds can’t read!” and somehow she’s the voice of reason in this conversation. That part’s good.

Wizard of Id, 12/11/25

Is this really the sort of thing that works for politicians? I think of their classic move as being more along the lines of “I tell people something good will happen. Then, when it doesn’t, I say it did, actually, and moreover I’m responsible for it.” I guess I don’t live in a pseudo-medieval kingdom ruled by a hereditary monarch working in tandem with a chaotic wizard, though, so maybe I’m operating out of context here.

https://joshreads.com/2025/12/that-bird-is-pure-evil-and-i-love-it/

https://joshreads.com/?p=47872

Posted by Josh

https://joshreads.com/2025/12/someday-theyre-gonna-reveal-whos-under-the-boxes-and-i-promise-it-will-be-extremely-underwhelming/

https://joshreads.com/?p=47867

Mary Worth, 12/10/25

We all know, of course, that Mary Worth takes place in a world similar to but not exactly like our own, where America’s most famous 20th century actor is the handsome Saul Lewman and Sonia Sotomayor served out her career as a Superior Court Judge in Santa Royale County. But I’m sorry, the proposal that the greatest stage actor who ever lived in this universe is someone called “Sir Richard Wellbottom” is simply too much for me to believe. This man would be haunted by the cruel nickname “Dick Goodass” and would never find the strength to perform on stage!

Crankshaft, 12/10/25

For years there was a running bit in Funky Winkerbean about a guy/monster/entity that looks like a person made out of pizza boxes who haunted Montoni’s, and as near as I can tell I never bothered commenting on it or even thinking about it all that much in my years of blogging about the strip, but post-Funky, this being has migrated to Crankshaft for some reason and I just want to be on the record as agreeing with this little girl. It isn’t right! This shouldn’t be in the newspaper! It’s dumb and weird and nobody cares!

Herb and Jamaal, 12/10/25

The full quote here is “When they study our civilization two thousand years from now, there will only be three things that Americans will be known for: the Constitution, baseball and jazz music. They’re the three most beautiful things Americans have ever created.” Why do you think this strip left out the “only”? Is it because it wants you to believe, against all evidence, that in the distant future there will be four things Americans will be known for: the Constitution, baseball, jazz music, and the comic strip Herb and Jamaal? It could happen! You never know!

https://joshreads.com/2025/12/someday-theyre-gonna-reveal-whos-under-the-boxes-and-i-promise-it-will-be-extremely-underwhelming/

https://joshreads.com/?p=47867

Posted by Josh

https://joshreads.com/2025/12/i-get-the-sense-that-henry-is-a-lot-pettier-than-we-give-him-credit-for/

https://joshreads.com/?p=47855

Dennis the Menace, 12/7/25

I feel like Henry’s “He’s gone too far this time!” line actually explains a lot about this strip. Like there’s some kind of beef going on between him and Mr. Wilson that dates back years, before Dennis was even born. “That’s right,” Henry thinks, every time Dennis heads over to the neighbors. “You menace that asshole, kid. You menace him good.”

Mother Goose and Grimm, 12/7/25

I think one of the reasons that jokes about fire hydrants in comic strips with sapient dogs bug me so much is that much of the schtick of a talking-dog strip is playing around with the question of “what are the human equivalents to these objects or experiences in a dog’s everyday life?” but for whatever reason the ones that deal with fire hydrants always seem to rapidly lose their grip on whatever metaphor they’re trying to establish. But kudos to Mother Goose and Grimm for going beyond the hydrant into other realms of doggie existence, where the metaphors also don’t work. Take alcohol, for instance. Is toilet water like alcohol, for a dog? Well, no, not really. How about the kind of vaccines a dog would typically get at the vet? Are those like alcohol? No, that’s not right either, but keep at it, you’ll get there one of these days.

https://joshreads.com/2025/12/i-get-the-sense-that-henry-is-a-lot-pettier-than-we-give-him-credit-for/

https://joshreads.com/?p=47855

Posted by Josh

https://joshreads.com/2025/12/metapost-wintry-cotw-3/

https://joshreads.com/?p=47849

Cold enough for ya??? Well, warm yourself in the bright glow of this week’s top comment:

“Augie should just explain to Summer that, in accordance with their namesake seasons, she is hot and boring whereas Autumn is cool and interesting.” –Violet

And of course your hilarious runners up will keep the chill away:

“I choose to believe that the “squawk” box in the last panel is also part of Ian’s dialog.” –Dmsilev

“Ok, that’s all good and well, but why is he eating outside? Turkey farts? Probably turkey farts.” –pugfuggly

“He’s depressed in advance about how much pie he’s going to lose in that beard.” –MKay

“Humpty didn’t crack open his fellow carton-mate, but he did feast on the albumeny innards of the predeceased, a crime so heinous they have no law against it.” –Rex Thrillho, on BlueSky

“Dustin has embraced his inner Crankshaft, God help us all.” –TheSodorViaduct, on BlueSky

“We see these occasional departures where the strip explores the lives of popular nursery rhyme characters. Is the titular Mother Goose telling these stories to entertain children? Or, since we’ve never seen her with any kids, does she make these stories up to ward off children? Probably the latter, right?” –Victor Von

“I’ve never seen an egg-human with such a small face before. Not clear why I find this vaguely unsettling.” –some guy vaguely unsettled by a cartoon of an egg

“That look on Augie’s face is perfect for someone who has tried over and over to explain the concept of a fictional character inspired by a real person. ‘Please don’t ask for details. You said yourself that she’s smart. I don’t want to admit that that’s one of the differences.’” –Nevin, on Patreon

“You got any six-day old food? Does your disgusting filthy restaurant have any meat that’s just been sitting around since last Thursday? I don’t want to go to work tomorrow, and a bit of violent food poisoning would do the job nicely.” –Schroduck

“Listen, when I texted you ‘semiotic theory and chill?’ this is not what I had in mind.” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“I enjoy Dick Tracy helpfully providing a balloon labeled ‘machine gun.’ They need to go the full nine here, though! ‘Dick Tracy’s Hand!’ ‘Cigarette!’ ‘Thinking Cop’s Chin!’ Oh, the possibilities!” –A Grave Mind

“I struggle to believe that cars in the Alice-verse are that expensive. I mean, they’d just be made out of vague abstract shapes like everything else in this comic.” –ectojazzmage

“Well, you’re certainly a plugger if you read your mail while standing by your mailbox, as opposed to, say, walking a few feet into the comfort of your own home where you can sit down; it’s easier to read; there’s a letter opener; etc.” –Bob Tice

“TIRED: Wilbur is bad at raising a pet
WIRED: Ian emerges menacingly from the mist to visit his wrath upon a pet” –Dan

“I’d be more upset about Jeffy pulling her coat down off her neck to ogle her nape. Probably why Thel wears a turtleneck in the house.” –Hibbleton

“Look at that disaster! Wishing well? More like wishing badly!” –Ettorre

“I’m intrigued by Jeffy’s odd facial expression and posture. I can only assume he’s imitating long-dead variety show host Ed Sullivan, which would be spot-on for this strip.” –Joe Blevins

“In an attempt to stay relevant, Heathcliff has adopted Netflix’s strategy of having characters explain everything that’s happening in detail so that viewers can still keep up with the plot while being glued to their phones. Tomorrow’s caption: ‘The stench of rotting meat has attracted the Beings, and we are all in grave danger.’” –Austria

Remember: If you want an ad-free version of this site sent to you every day via email, for $3 a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon newsletter subscriber! And if you never want to see banner ads on this site, and want to get cool comment-editing features to boot, for the same low price you can become a Comics Curmudgeon website subscriber! You can get each day’s post ad-free via Patreon if that’s your style! And if you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

https://joshreads.com/2025/12/metapost-wintry-cotw-3/

https://joshreads.com/?p=47849

Posted by Josh

https://joshreads.com/2025/12/gertie-is-going-to-have-the-first-ever-divorce-trial-broadcast-on-fox-sports-1/

https://joshreads.com/?p=47842

Mary Worth, 12/4/25

“Good lord, Josh,” you’re almost certainly saying, “it’s been days since the first unpleasant Ian-Sunny encounter and you haven’t kept us updated, what is going on?????” Well, Ian has beaten a tactical retreat to the shower, where he is fuming, fuming at his humiliation. This oddball is going to grandstand like never before! The stakes could not be higher!

Gearhead Gertie, 12/4/25

Gertie marital dysfunction watch: Gertie’s husband, learning about a new venue for NASCAR racing, has preemptively compromised on their next vacation, hoping to combine some of the racing action his wife loves with a relaxing beach day of the sort that you’d think would appeal to just about anybody. “No,” says Gertie. “Fuck you. That’s not how this works. You know that’s not how this works.”

Daddy Daze, 12/4/25

I can never really figure out to what extent the conversations between the Daddy Daze baby and the Daddy Daze daddy are supposed to be “real,” and I guess that question can be extended to basically anything you see happening in the strip. Still, I feel like “your pre-verbal, non-walking baby is roaming the house in the middle of the night” is a scenario where you get out of bed and put them back in their crib, rather than just going back to sleep? I dunno, I’m not a parent, maybe the conventional wisdom has changed on this.

Pluggers, 12/4/25

You’re a plugger if you get invited to the sort of social events whose cancellation you’re notified about via a formal notice delivered by the U.S. Postal Service.

https://joshreads.com/2025/12/gertie-is-going-to-have-the-first-ever-divorce-trial-broadcast-on-fox-sports-1/

https://joshreads.com/?p=47842

Posted by Josh

https://joshreads.com/2025/12/if-i-wanted-to-think-this-much-about-the-6-7-meme-i-wouldve-had-children/

https://joshreads.com/?p=47835

Herb and Jamaal, 12/3/25

As I noted a couple of weeks ago, Pluggers was insanely on the cutting edge of doing a 6-7 meme joke in the syndicated newspaper comics, the joke being that a child-plugger says “6-7” and an adult plugger says “How did you know?” and the caption says “For many pluggers, 6-7 is the year they graduated high school.” Which is, you know, fine, although it continues to center boomer pluggers and not the vibrant, rising Gen X plugger community. Anyway, I guess we should be taking bets on the order in which other comics will tackle this important cultural phenomenon and in what fashion they handle it. I’m not sure if any of us would’ve answered the first question for Herb and Jamaal with “right after Pluggers,” but for the second one many of us would’ve correctly guessed “incomprehensibly.”

Alice, 12/3/25

I’ve spent literally decades angrily telling comics artists that you can’t just have your characters look directly at the readers and make complaints that you personally have about the world with no other joke or wordplay, but you know what? It happens all the time so clearly I’m wrong and they’re right. Anyway, cars are just too expensive! The manufacturers forgot that the purpose of a car is to get you from point A to point B. Does every new car need all that stuff?

Dick Tracy, 12/3/25

Oh, yeah, remember how Silver Nitrate is having a hard time in prison? You might think it’s because America’s carceral system is inherently dehumanizing, but maybe it’s because he’s being kept away from his true passion: driving around town in a souped-up funny car with his barefoot sister spraying machine gun fire at random.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 12/3/25

It’s easy to forget when you read it every day for years, but the title of Mother Goose and Grimm reminds you that the strip was originally situated as being at least kind of a spoof of fairy tale/nursery rhyme stuff, sometimes it makes a half-hearted attempt to go back to its roots. I like how the cow knows in advance how bad this joke is going to be and clearly doesn’t want to be there. Hey, buddy, none of us want to be here, OK?

The Wizard of Id, 12/3/25

Hey, everyone, they did a My Chemical Romance joke in the Wizard of Id, right here in the year 2025! I guess we don’t have to worry about a 6-7 joke from this crew for several decades.

https://joshreads.com/2025/12/if-i-wanted-to-think-this-much-about-the-6-7-meme-i-wouldve-had-children/

https://joshreads.com/?p=47835